If you could see the other half of this photo, you would see a blurry child, my blurry child. She is a wild, wriggling two year old at the time. She is still wild and wriggling, but now a year older.
I needed to find a picture of myself that I would share with my new employer as part of an introduction. It took me an inordinately long amount of time to find one. I got pregnant in September 2013 so that immediately disqualified all photos from 2014. And it is barely 2015…
And even then, I could not find a photo of myself alone. I started to try to crop photos, but it is very difficult to crop out another person’s face when it is smashed against your cheek. Which is basically the most likely pose of a mother with small children. And people really only want a photo of me nowadays when I am with one of my kids. Which means I am most likely to be sans make-up. Not a great look after two little ones.
I found a photo in the end. I was without make up, but my face was glowing. Or the lighting in the butterfly sanctuary we were in at the time was amazing. I think I was laughing at my daughter. She was leaning backwards away from me in the photo with some silly look on her face. Her goofiness and dramatics always crack me up.
It seems like some wise metaphor – how a mother is forced to show only parts of herself at work when the whole messy package is, well, the complete package. I have never been so happy, so frazzled, so focused, so decisive, so tired, so human, so relatable, so prioritized.